Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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