Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
