sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
