Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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