It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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