Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
