what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
