Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
