I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
