I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
