Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
