if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i've created a new STD.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
