someone threw a dead crab at me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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