tonight lets celebrate not being married
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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