Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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