I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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