Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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