At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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