That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
