I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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