Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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