do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
