GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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