wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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