He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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