My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
