It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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