didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I smell like Dick and happiness
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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