dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
