I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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