So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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