Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
