a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
