Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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