The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
