doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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