if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
well you can't waste a boner
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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