And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
