your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so explain again why im purple
no
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
