Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
