dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Ladies don't puke and tell
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
