Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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