Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
