He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
