just come out here and I will go home with you...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
