They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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