I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
