$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
