I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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