He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize