He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
