Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
How's work?
Spinning.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
