He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
