Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
