Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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