your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize