Porn is love you can see.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
