did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My cat gives me a boner
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize