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i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
