We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
