I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
