I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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