he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize