Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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